The Human Centipede 3: Final Sequence (2015)

The_Human_Centipede_3_PosterWhen you’ve already created one of the most original and disturbing horror movies of all time and a sequel that takes it to the next level, the natural question must be “where do you go from there?” With The Human Centipede 3: Final Sequence writer/director Tom Six closes out his infamous horror trilogy with one final entry, a last trip into the sick, twisted world he created. So, does the final entry live up to high expectations set by the first two? Well, let’s discuss…

Using the same plot device that he did in the second film Six posits that this film is in fact the true reality and the other two are fictional movies in this world. Dieter Laser returns as prison warden Bill Boss and Laurence Harvey comes back as his accountant, Dwight Butler. When other forms of draconian punishment prove ineffective they decide to take inspiration from the notorious films and put the entire prison population into a massive, 500 person centipede.

The most noticeable change in this film is the drastic tonal shift from the last two, especially the second entry. Now, it should be noted that Six has always maintained that he sees the films as dark comedies, which is a strange claim indeed. At least that’s what I thought when I saw the first two, which are some of the most grim, brutal and disturbing cinematic trips you will ever take. The third however, is played for laughs…..

The general rule of thumb with movie sequels and TV shows is that once they start making fun of themselves they’ve run out of ideas and this film drives that point home, drives it home hard. Right from the onset where the central idea is recycled, to the constant self-referential nature of the film and the fact that Tom Six makes an awkward appearance as himself, the running theme is clearly ‘no one in this movie is taking this shit seriously’. And truly, they are not.

Laser is without a doubt the worst offender in this regard as he ditches the subtle, genuine menace of Dr. Heiter in favor of prancing around like a maniac and screaming all his lines. In addition, Bill Boss is less like a prison warden, more like Caligula as he snacks on dried clitorises, rapes his secretary and castrates, mutilates and murders prisoners with absolutely no legal repercussions. Basically, the film is played as a broad comedy punctuated by scenes of graphic violence. This idea may have been more effective if the film had at least been remotely funny.

This brings me to the fundamental problem with the movie. If you are going to jettison your previous format, you need to bring in something solid to replace it with. Since the world and the characters of this film aren’t grounded in any kind of tangible reality the situations they are in become far less engaging as you can’t take anything seriously. This results in irritation for the viewer as they simply wait for the next violent scene to alleviate the boredom that occurs when there is no solid plot to follow or well-developed characters to engage with.

In conclusion, it’s unfortunate that Tom Six didn’t try to push himself creatively to finish the trilogy strong and instead elected to smugly rest on his laurels and assume we would all be impressed merely by the fact that he fucking showed up. Even the violence, while graphic and generally creative, doesn’t really feel boundary-pushing or dangerous as it did in the second entry and wasn’t pushed nearly as far as it should have been. Overall, a tremendous opportunity wasted and while I found the film enjoyable enough to watch once, that doesn’t change the fact that the series would have been so much better off had this one never been made.

2 Stars Red

Uncle Sam (1996)

220px-UncleSamSlasherAs any horror fan knows, there is no shortage of holiday-themed horror films out there. However, while holidays like Halloween and Christmas boast a multitude of titles, less represented holidays like say, 4th of July have far fewer movies modeled after them. That being said, it’s hard to imagine a movie ever being made that could more enthusiastically embrace the patriotic American holiday than Uncle Sam.

The plot centers around Master Sergeant Sam Harper (David ‘Shark’ Fralick), a helicopter gunner who is killed by friendly fire during the Gulf War. When his body is shipped back to the states for burial his young nephew Jody (Christopher Ogden) becomes obsessed with him and following in his footsteps. But it isn’t long before Harper’s restless corpse awakens, steals an Uncle Sam outfit and goes on a bloody rampage against draft-dodgers, flag burners, corrupt politicians and anyone else who dares defile the honor of his beloved country. Will Jody have the courage to defend the town and stand up to his….(sigh) uncle, Sam?

While the idea of a murderous reanimated corpse in an Uncle Sam costume is indeed strange, what’s even more bizarre is that this weird throw-away film from the 90’s wasn’t directed by a first timer nobody, it was directed by fucking William Lustig! In fact, despite consistently working as a producer up till present day, Uncle Sam actually represents the final feature film the director of the seminal slasher Maniac has directed to date.

When you go into a movie like Uncle Sam you have a good idea what to expect. Clearly you’re not going to get brilliance but if the film can keep you entertained with a cheesy story and plenty of gruesome kills then it’s done it’s job. Unfortunately, this is where the film ultimately fails as it commits the only truly unforgivable sin of the cheesy slasher sub-genre…..it bores the audience. Aside from the opening scene there aren’t any kills until forty-two minutes in!

Evidently, a lot of padding was needed to stretch out the paper-thin story and even though the second half does pick up a bit, it’s too little too late. Some of the kills are creative and decently bloody but without the kind of glorious, gooey over-the-top madness we saw in 80’s films or the sleek, realistic gore of modern day horror this is a classic example of why the 90’s were considered an overall low point in the history of the Horror genre.

There are some things I did appreciate about this film, though. Primarily how it so fully embraced the underrepresented holiday with such gleeful abandon making this a film that doesn’t just take place on the 4th of July but is, without a doubt, a 4th of July themed horror movie, and all holidays should have at least one horror film that fully represents them. I also have to give props to the credit sequence which not only establishes the iconic Uncle Sam outfit for the viewer through real archival footage but also shows how genuinely bizarre and creepy it could be at times.

If this doesn’t sound like enough to recommend the film, it’s because it’s not. The movie is not even remotely scary which is largely due to the fact that the titular villain spends most of the time standing in plain view so there is never even a chance of tension or dread building before a kill. Even with the cheesy concept and low budget this film could have succeeded if it had jumped right into the action and assaulted the viewer with a series of brutal kills that didn’t let up. At least then it would have made for a fun movie to watch with a few friends and more than a few drinks. As it is, watching this is about as exciting as celebrating the holiday with a damp sparkler and a non-alcoholic beer.

1 Star Red

Short Film Review: Feed the Black (2016) Duration: 32 min

Feed the BlackAs you can imagine, I’ve seen a lot of films in my day and always enjoy seeking out the most bizarre, abstract and downright weird films I can find. I can safely say however that I have never seen a film, especially a short, that starts with a guided meditation (!). But that’s exactly what happens at the beginning of Feed the Black, the viewer is instructed to close their eyes and empty their mind while a voice-over prattles on for almost five full minutes! That’s a significant chunk of time when the total running time is only about thirty-two minutes. If the V.O. contained important plot information or tied back into the film at a later point this could perhaps have been justified but as it is it feels incredibly extraneous.

After this, the film finally starts. The plot, such as it is, follows a nameless woman who visits a grave and shoots heroin for the next ten minutes of screen time while classical music plays. This is interrupted only by the occasional scene featuring quickly flashing images of religious iconography, a giant eyeball and other typical abstract film cliches. We are now halfway through. The remainder of the film continues along the same lines: she wakes up mysteriously in a forest, she walks through an old colonial town, a cemetery, there’s a human sacrifice, et cetera, et cetera. Throw in some mysterious shrouded figures, a few more seizure-inducing montages, trippy kaleidoscope editing effects, end on the titular line and….voila!

Truly, I haven’t seen something quite like this since my days in film school. In fact writer/director Klayton Dean falls into many of the same traps that film students do when trying too hard to create a significant, abstract work. First and foremost it’s pretentious as fuck. The Roman numerals dividing the sections, the classical music, the old English script for the end credits, it all tries desperately to impose a greater significance onto the footage that simply isn’t there. What’s missing is a cohesive story and a connection to the protagonist that is strong enough to make you want to take a bizarre journey with her.

A common misconception about abstract films is that they are supposed to be comprised of a nearly unintelligible collection of images that will take on greater significance simply by being confounding and bizarre. The reality, however, is that the director must lay a path for savvy viewers to follow so that the intended message of the film can be interpreted, otherwise it’s just weird for the sake of weird and has little value. This is a concept that surreal masters like Lynch and Jodorowsky understand as they layer their bizarre imagery with hidden meaning and complex social commentary. With symbolic imagery, there should be specific meaning tied to each image, most of which is also propelling the central story forward, not simply presenting vague ideas and general concepts like “the struggle between dark and light”.

Despite the shortcomings of this film I do feel that Klayton Dean has potential as a director. The film is well shot, the quality of the image is solid and the acting works. Unfortunately, without a solid foundation these qualities become irrelevant and Dean will need to get out of his own way before he can create something of real significance. However, with a solid, cohesive script in his hand he could be a force to be reckoned with.

In closing I also want to mention that it is a stretch to even classify this as a horror film. Honestly, the only thing shocking about this is that Dean sees fit to charge viewers to watch it. Even if it was much, much better than it is, it still wouldn’t be worth paying four bucks to own a thirty minute movie. This is the kind of film that should be free on YouTube, after it’s cut down to a third of it’s current length.

1 Star Red

 

 

Father’s Day (2011)

Father's_Day_PosterCorpse mutilation! Necrophilia! Cannibalism! And that’s just the first two minutes! Welcome to Father’s Day, motherfuckers! The 2011 film is the twisted brainchild of the five-man Canadian writing/directing team collectively known as Astron-6.

The central plot focuses on an unlikely trio comprised of a vigilante, a priest, and a gay prostitute as they try to track down and kill the murderous father-raping demon known as The Fuchman AKA The Father’s Day Killer. With an insanely low budget of $10,000 the Troma-produced film features enough gut-churning gore to put most of the Saw franchise to shame. So was the end result a worthwhile effort that can stand up against the sea of multi-million dollar horror flicks out there or was it just another overly ambitious indie film that falls short? Well, let’s discuss.

The first thing I want to mention is that you must go into this with the understanding that this is a stylized film and is meant to be viewed as such. The entire movie is an homage to the kind of over-the-top 80’s horror that you’d find a random VHS of on your local video store shelves, back when that was a thing. The look of the film is deliberately degraded, and the entire movie is presented with tongue-in-cheek, overly dramatic plot and dialogue that lovingly mimics the plethora of cheap films that do similar stories in earnest.

It is very difficult to create a film, especially with very limited resources, that successfully emulates and parodies bad films without actually becoming one itself. However, much like Robert Rodriguez’s Planet Terror, this film was created by filmmakers with enough talent and knowledge of the source material to pull off a movie that really works. This is in large part due to the fact that the film is primarily a self-aware black comedy that incorporates elements of horror and scenes of graphic violence into the plot. What’s more is that the comedic elements of the film actually work and the story is compelling and interesting enough that you want to strap in for the crazy ride and see where it takes you.

The real star of the show here however is the gore, which is cranked up to astoundingly graphic levels. Eyeballs are sliced, heads are smashed in, dicks are bitten off and so much more in horrifying, unflinching detail. If that wasn’t enough for you the film also throws in copious amounts of boobs and taboo-smashing scenes of underage prostitution, incest and many shots of men being graphically raped. Yet all this is done in the context of a story that maintains a fun, goofy feeling and is not meant to be taken too seriously. Add to this some amazing stunt work, like jumping between real moving trucks and actors being set on fire (!), and some incredible otherworldly character and set design and you have a truly impressive indie film. It may not be breaking any new ground in terms of story and film technique but what it does, it does very well.

In conclusion, this is the kind of movie I’m always hoping indie films will be when I put them on. Something that shows a lot of passion and talent from the filmmakers involved and is able to push the boundaries way past what could be made within the Hollywood system. So crack open a cold beer, or six, and enjoy the gleeful insanity of what may be the greatest film Troma ever produces.

4 Stars Red

The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence (2011)

TheHumanCentipede2How do you follow-up one of the most shocking and original horror movies of all time? Is it even possible to make a movie that’s more disturbing than The Human Centipede? Well, I’ll save you the suspense….yes, it most certainly fucking is! Once again I enter the astoundingly twisted world of writer/director Tom Six to see how The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence stacks up against the ground-breaking original.

In the world of this film the first Human Centipede is just a fictional movie, one that Martin (Laurence R. Harvey), the mentally challenged parking attendant in a London garage happens to be obsessed with. When he isn’t busy jacking off with sandpaper while he watches it or feeding his pet centipede he likes to spend his time brutalizing garage patrons with a crowbar and putting them in the back of his van. Once collected, the unfortunate (that’s an understatement to say the least) victims are brought to his secluded warehouse so he can live out his greatest fantasy, creating a human centipede of his very own.

Before I get into this I just want to mention that I am always a big supporter of watching the completely uncut versions of films. Unfortunately, Netflix really decided to fuck over streaming viewers and only provides a censored cut. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still horrific but some key scenes were removed without any indication to the viewer that this is not the full version. Apparently, the Blu-ray features the fully uncut version so if you are inclined to watch it, I recommend getting that.

Alright, so the first film got a lot of mileage simply from the fact that it was a truly original concept with a plot so horrifying that many people cringed at the very mention of the title. Since the concept is no longer original the only logical thing Tom Six could do is go bigger and badder with the central idea, which is exactly what he does. All the dark, disturbing imagery from the first is brought back and cranked up to 11. The sheer level of graphic brutality on display is astonishing and this is without a doubt one of the most shocking and disturbing films ever made, making the original pale by comparison.

Beyond the gore though, there are also some very bold and interesting choices with how the film itself is constructed. The most notable of these is naturally the choice to make the film black and white. There has been a lot of online speculation that Six was forced to present it in this way due to it’s graphic content but in a 2011 interview with wegotthiscovered.com he clearly states that this was an artistic choice to make the film feel darker and more uncomfortable. The gamble pays off and the film not only takes on an even more grim, desolate tone but also differentiates itself from the style and feel of the original.

I also thought it was a bold and interesting choice to make the protagonist a fan of the original film who is inspired to do violent, horrible acts that emulate what he sees in it. With this, Six is really taking the unfounded argument made by so many people that violence in art causes real-world violence head-on rather than side-stepping or apologizing for it. Bolder still, he makes the villain the protagonist of the film this time, a reversal from the original, putting us squarely in the front seat of this twisted ride, unable to deny our own voyeuristic part in the acts we are witnessing.

This also plays into the wish fulfillment aspect of the film as Martin, who is both physically and mentally weak, is able to violently dominate anyone he chooses. I’m sure it’s also no coincidence that most, if not all, of the people he assaults have been rude, mean or violent towards him in some way. It’s artistic choices like this that make the viewer confront their own sick, violent nature which is perhaps the most unsettling part of all.

In conclusion, this is not a film to be underestimated or dismissed as mindless shock value. I can’t say the story is particularly complex or deep but the film takes the series exactly where it needed to go and creates a glorious, uncompromising vision and reminds us that horror is supposed to be horrifying.

4 Stars Red

The Hills Have Eyes (1977) vs The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

The Hills Have Eyes

Doing a comparison of The Hills Have Eyes original vs remake was challenging in the same way that the Black Christmas comparison was, although for the opposite reason. In this case both films were so well done that an obvious winner wasn’t instantly apparent as it is in some cases (ahem Dark Water).

Both films follow the same basic storyline pretty closely (not a given for all remakes) which involves a family crossing the desert on their way to California. Soon after stopping at a remote gas station, they crash their vehicle and become stranded. It’s not long before a family of cannibals descends upon them and shit gets real.

The main thing that makes both the original and the remake so effective, is that the characters are realistic and well-defined. I’m glad that the filmmakers in both cases understood that you don’t need long drawn-out scenes of exposition and character-development to make the viewer attached to the protagonists. Both directors wisely opt to efficiently establish everything you need to know about the characters with minimal, but telling, interactions. In both films you really feel for these people who are trapped in a horrible situation and feel that they are doing the best they can to figure a way out of it.

Both films are also brutal, mean-spirited stories without any levity once the action gets under way, which is what I love about them. It’s great to see serious, visceral horror with characters you actually care about. Movies like this also aren’t shy about killing them off so the stakes are actually high because any of them could die at any time. I find this to be a much more satisfying experience than waiting for a cast of cheap stereotypes to get butchered.

While the story and characters of the original are great, there are certainly some areas that could have been tightened up a bit. First on my list would be the outfits worn by the cannibal family, some of which have a bit of a “Flintstones-Halloween-costume” vibe to them. In addition to munching on human flesh, said family also had a bit of a habit of chewing the scenery and some of the performances would have been more effectively menacing had they been tempered a bit. Another issue is the gore which, while certainly good for the era, at times looks a bit dated and fake by today’s standards.

To be fair, the remake has the advantage not only of modern special effects, which look fucking great by the way, but also a solid story that is already laid out for filmmakers. Still, there were some interesting alterations that director Alexandre Aja made to Wes Craven’s original film. Perhaps the most noticeable of these is that the cannibals are significantly more deformed in the remake which is a result of nuclear radiation from tests performed in the area over the years. This makes them more monstrous than the cannibals in the original whose minor abnormalities stem back to a patriarch born with a mysterious genetic condition. Right from the brilliant opening title sequence that features chilling footage of real nuclear bomb detonation, Aja establishes nuclear proliferation as an underlying theme throughout the film and in effect the true genesis of the monsters themselves. To this point the monsters could in fact be perceived as representing the merciless destruction caused by nuclear weapons when used against average civilians.

In conclusion, the 2006 version is a rare example of exactly what a remake should be. You take a film from decades before that has a solid, worthwhile story and update it with sleeker production values and more visceral gore for today’s desensitized audiences. The most important thing however, is to keep the elements that made the original film work in the first place, which Aja has done while infusing it with his own style of gorgeous brutality. If more remakes followed his example the concept of remakes in general wouldn’t carry the well-earned stigma of simply being a way for Hollywood to make a quick buck with minimum effort.

Winner The Hills Have Eyes 2006

Michael Myers: Absolute Evil (2016)

Michael Myers Absolute Evil -bannerThe plot of Michael Myers: Absolute Evil can simply be summed as a mockumentary which discusses Michael Myers as though he were a real serial killer. However, unlike most mockumentaries this is not a comedy and is presented in the same kind of tone that you would find with a typical documentary about a real serial killer. This is certainly an interesting, unusual approach so the question becomes, does it pay off?

I do like the idea here but I think the very concept runs into a fundamental problem. The reason documentaries are engaging is because you’re learning details about a real person or event and the experience can be a fascinating journey of discovery. We accept that documentaries are mainly made up of talking heads, still photos and low production value reenactments because the information we are learning is compelling and real. On the other hand, mockumentaries are traditionally presented as dead-pan comedies that revolve around a completely fictional subject, think This is Spinal Tap, where the enjoyment is derived simply from the fact that the film is funny.

Since this film doesn’t meet either criteria I would have to assume that writer/director Rick Gawel created this to be viewed as a realistic documentary that just happens to be about a fictional subject. In this regard there are a few parts that could be tightened up to sell the idea that this is a real documentary. One example is a scene which contains an archival interview that we’re told takes place in 1964 but is clearly shot digitally with an after-effect put on during editing, which is noticeable. If the footage had actually been shot on film for that scene it could have come across as authentic. I had a similar problem with the title cards between interviews which are given a deliberate effect to make them appear old and flicker in and out of focus. The effect looks fine but creates a disconnect between the cards and the crisp, digital interview footage.

There were also some scenes shot specifically for this film that are created to expand upon the mythos but these largely fall flat. The cult leader especially didn’t read as charismatic or menacing enough to be believable and the awkwardly long short film that’s spliced in near the end never elevates itself beyond the typical found-footage films that have long since worn out their welcome.

This is a shame because the actual documentary parts of this film are quite well done and do for the most part feel like an authentic documentary. Gawel’s use of black and white stills is done masterfully as he takes the viewer through the history of Michael Myers as though it was one cohesive story, which is no easy feat considering how disjointed the films themselves could be at times. The interview subjects are for the most part quite believable and effective, although there are some notable exceptions including one man that appeared to be looking down at an off-screen script in-between lines (!).

Ultimately, it’s a very interesting idea that would be great as a short 20-30 minute film but begins to become tedious when stretched out to an hour and a half. It’s cool to see the overarching story presented in this way but there isn’t really much in the way of new insights or information to be gained by watching this that you couldn’t get from simply seeing the films. This is a clever concept with some nice touches, I like the subtle diss of the remake that was slipped in, but one that ends up being more of a novelty for fans rather than essential viewing.

2.5 Stars Red

Tall Men (a.k.a Customer 152) (2016)

Tall Men 4-9Creating a world that is subtly surreal can be a very difficult task. Balancing elements of a disintegrating reality with a compelling storyline that progresses at the correct pace to guide the viewer along the journey with the protagonist is a challenging undertaking indeed. So how does Tall Men fare with a storyline that embodies this concept? Well, let’s discuss.

The film centers around Terrence (Dan Crisafulli), a man living with mental illness who has fallen on hard times and is filing for bankruptcy. An early scene eludes to a childhood trauma which seems to have played a big part in his current mental state. After his meeting with the bankruptcy attorney he begins to have strange visions and the feeling like he’s being watched. His life takes an even stranger turn after he applies for a mysterious credit card that seems too good to be true.

The first thing I will say about this movie is that it sucks you in. This is no doubt something that was made on a very modest budget but the sleek sound design and attention to detail give this film a professionalism that transcends its financial limitations. Director Jonathan Holbrook wisely chose to focus on a character-driven story in which he craftily builds tension and dread in a compelling and natural way. The world of the characters is well established and when the surreal and paranormal elements creep in you consistently find yourself questioning what is real and what isn’t.

The film has a lot of clever touches as well. For instance, the scene where Terrence is on a date with the weird, pretty girl he works with and the movie they go to see ends up unexpectedly being a horror film. As he comments “I don’t think this is a romance” there is a noticeable tonal shift in the overall movie itself and what had started to feel a bit like a quirky relationship movie the last few scenes takes on a darker feeling of dread and menace. It’s a meta moment that is far more effectively executed than in many films where I have seen similar things attempted.

Now, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention a few things that I feel could have been a bit more polished. While I feel like most of the actors were quite effective some of the supporting cast could have benefited from reining in their performances a bit. Some of this may have been a deliberate choice by the director to inject some humor into the film but I feel it would have been stronger with a consistently serious tone throughout. This would have sold the characters as real people a little more and helped the viewer feel more immersed in the film. There were also a few scenes in which fake teeth were used where the actors exposed too much and betrayed the items as props which took me out of the moment a little. Okay, so these may seem like quibbling points but the devil is in the details and it is the attention to the subtle details that often separates good films from great ones.

Bottom line here, this is a very watchable film with some genuinely frightening moments and an interesting, surreal story. I thoroughly enjoyed watching it and would definitely see it again, which is certainly not something I would say about some of the other films I have reviewed. Without a doubt, recommended viewing.

3.5 Stars Red

Flesh of my Flesh (2015)

FOMF-Poster11x17-300dpiWhen viewing micro-budget films, you have to go into it with the understanding that you are not going to be seeing the same kind of slick production values that you get with Hollywood films that have budgets in the tens or hundreds of millions. Because of this, I try to be fair and cut a certain amount of slack in terms of production aspects that could not be helped due to the budget, like footage quality, set design, amateur actors, etc. I do however still hold filmmakers responsible for choices within their control such as the script, actors they chose, and production choices made.

Flesh of my Flesh starts with a zombie outbreak in a hospital and then moves forward in time eighteen months for the main storyline which takes place in an abandoned city overrun by zombies. A three person rescue team, lead by Major Erick Vaas (Matthew Martin), is tasked with finding survivors and becomes stranded in the city when their helicopter is shot down by a zombie with a rocket launcher (!). They are then taken in by a small group of survivors in a bunker and have to work together to figure out a way to escape the city before the whole thing is leveled by the military in an effort to control the outbreak.

If this sounds overly ambitious for a film with a small indie budget, it’s because it is. When your resources are very limited it’s wise to play to your strengths and focus on a character-driven story with limited locations and an innovative concept that will hold your audience’s attention so much that they are willing to overlook the rougher edges of the production. It’s less wise to have an elaborate high-concept story that involves blowing up multiple helicopters and buildings. These effects unfortunately draw a lot of attention to the budget of the film, or lack thereof, and the final result ends up being more like Birdemic than Black Hawk Down. This was definitely a case where the director would have been better off finding another way to get the protagonists trapped in the city rather than attempting effects he could not pull off.

Also, I understand and appreciate that it is hard to find actors willing to act in a low-budget film and I’m not trying to be mean or pick on one actor but I just could not get past Matthew Martin’s performance. Honestly, no one was knocking it out of the park here but I really feel that the leading man of the film especially needs to have the chops to really pull you into the story and there truly wasn’t a moment that I didn’t feel like I was watching someone who was, painfully, trying to act.

Now, in case you think I’m simply being excessively negative here, I do want to mention a few of the things I did enjoy about the movie: I liked the idea of the kid zombies playing a game where they stand in a circle shooting each other over and over again because they cannot die. I enjoyed seeing one zombie rip another one’s arm off and eat it in front of him. To that end, I also liked it when one zombie ripped the head off another one and smashed it on the ground like a watermelon. Probably the most interesting part though was the zombie head that one of the survivors was keeping alive by feeding parts of it’s own body. Since in this film the zombies actually regenerate lost body parts it kept trying to re-grow the rest of it’s body starting with a spine which would have to be clipped from the base of the neck every few days to stop the regrowth. Gross, and cool.

And that’s really the basis of this film, a few cool, interesting ideas scattered throughout a movie that unfortunately is mostly a cliched, standard zombie film with a very low-budget feel. Without anything really creative or innovative to set it apart, I can’t see the reason to invest time into watching a film like this when you could simply watch one of the many zombie flicks it’s trying to emulate and be far more entertained by higher production values. I also feel like if a film like Wyrmwood could be made for $160,000 and look amazing then no one really has an excuse for blaming poor production values on lack of resources.

The real tragedy of this film is the ending though. Now, I won’t give anything away but suddenly, in the last scene of the movie, it becomes cool, really fucking cool! I remember thinking “Fuck! Why couldn’t the whole movie have been like this!?” Let me tell you, if it had been, I would have given the film very high marks indeed and I assure you it would also find a cult following in no time. The final shot itself is also so amazing, not just from a conceptual point of view but even from a technical one that I can’t believe it’s part of the same movie. It does give me hope though that writer/director Edward Martin III could be capable of some really great, interesting work. He simply needs to branch out into a far more bizarre, abstract and creative direction and then I think he could be capable of contributing something raw, gruesome and significant to the horror genre.

1.5 Stars Red

The Human Centipede: First Sequence (2009)

Human CentipedeThere are few films that can cause disgust and revulsion simply from their basic concept alone and truly none that can stand at the level of The Human Centipede: First Sequence in terms of sheer gut-reaction to the plot itself. In the seven years since it’s release the film has inspired two sequels, a slew of controversy and become a prominent pop-culture reference. So I decided it was time to revisit the iconic film that started it all.

The plot centers around Lindsay (Ashley Williams) and Jenny (Ashlynn Yennie) two young American women traveling through Europe, currently stopped over in Germany. A flat tire and no cell reception send them wandering through the woods at night in search of help. Unfortunately for them, the first house they come across belongs to retired surgeon Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser) who just so happens to be looking for a couple of healthy, young victims to help him with his demented new experiment.

Horror movies have been around since the inception of cinema itself and after countless entries into the genre it is very rare that a genuinely original idea comes about. While the concept of innocent victims being held prisoner and tortured by a madman is not in and of itself new, the idea of surgically connecting them via the Gastric System (i.e ass-to-mouth) is an inspired stroke of demented genius. With this film writer/director Tom Six has created a movie that is not only incredibly creative and original but also a significant, landmark film in the genre itself.

So, clearly the concept is excellent but a solid concept is only worthwhile if executed properly. From a technical standpoint the footage quality indicates that this is clearly an indie film as it doesn’t have the rich, beautiful cinematography of say A Serbian Film. That being said, the film has everything it needs to tell it’s twisted story and Six wisely chooses to limit most of the action to a single location. It also delivers on the practical gore effects which are simple, realistic and very effective. I should also note that this isn’t a very gory movie by horror standards and Six allows the concept itself to do the heavy lifting, making the fact that many people are so shocked by it all the more impressive.

Now, there were a few minor issues that I feel could have been addressed to greatly strengthen the film. The primary being that there is a point where a character is trying to escape the house, pre-centipede, and walks by phones multiple times without even attempting to use them. I also felt like the female leads used each others’ names in conversation way too much so that it became distracting, which is kind of Screenwriting 101. Very minor complaints to be sure, they simply stand out more because the film is so tight otherwise. The story overall is very well paced and keeps the tension up without getting bogged down in filler scenes or unnecessary exposition.

Both Williams and Yennie do give solid performances and really sell the fear in what must have been a very physically uncomfortable shoot. Although, I did feel that their scenes prior to meeting Dr. Heiter didn’t really rise above average. Speaking of the mad doctor, Laser absolutely steals the fucking show as Heiter giving a stunning performance positively dripping with menace. I cannot imagine anyone else playing that role and he is a big part of what makes the movie so successful.

In conclusion, this is a film that every horror fan should see and a stunning example of creativity, originality and a filmmaker with the balls to go way beyond the comfort zone of typical movie goers. We need more directors like this who are willing to be daring, provocative and not give a fuck about acceptance from the mainstream, because that’s the kind mindset it takes to produce real, significant art.

4.5 Stars Red